Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Humans and boundaries


My PG (tourist) season has been full. Which is all to the good.

I've observed something over the years with our fellow creatures. If one concedes even a tiny bit, they continue to pound away at the boundaries until one cries uncle. Or not.

I had one such recently. My breakfast schedule is between 8 and 9 a.m. After she checked in she wheedled her way into making it 7.30 - a very early rise for me. When she did come down for breakfast she announced she was celiac. No gluten. I asked her why she hadn't shared that information with me before her arrival and she confessed I mightn't have taken her. So here I am pantry scrambling and freezer digging. On Day 2 she asked could she do her laundry even though on my profile I say no laundry privileges. I conceded ( I need my head examined!) to take her laundry and do it for her and later folded it and put it on her bed. On Day 3 I asked if she found her laundry on the bed and received the casual: "oh yeah, I guess, thanks". she never moved a plate off the table which nearly all guests do and left her bedroom tossed. And never purchased even a token in my wee shop. A forty something privileged white woman with a healthy bank account (she had shared that much).

Thankfully, she's in a tiny minority of humans who believe that I host for fun and pleasure and am there to fulfil any need they express.

She also helped me considerably to firm up my own boundaries and tell guests that early breakfasts don't work for me, I can't accommodate special dietary requirements unless given at least one week's notice and there's absolutely no laundry.

So I still learn from those who are in my path to teach me what to do but also what not to do.



29 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. If I were kind I wouldn't be whining Ernestine. LOL. I found her over the top in every way and totally understood when she self-confessed she didn't make friends easily. She's a user.

      XO
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  2. As an old friend used to say (with a heavy southern drawl): Well shut my mouth and call me speechless.
    I guess you run into all kinds in that line of business.

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    1. Mostly wonderful Annie. She's an exception. Some guests I never want them to leave. Her? You can guess.

      XO
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  3. Wow, talk about a sense of entitlement...I'm glad you're moving soon. The less like her in your world, the better.

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    1. I picked up a huge loneliness vibe from her (she followed me to our community bonfire) but she desperately needs to work on herself and her attitude of entitlement.

      I'll miss hosting the 99% of guests who are great.

      XO
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    2. She probably has no clue...

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  4. Sounds like an unpleasant guest. I think not buying something is fair enough (I often don't because I try to limit how much stuff I accumulate), but the rudeness and ingratitude totally NOT okay.

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  5. My gifts are tiny and light, cards and wee homemade washcloths, etc. I rarely encounter such privilege, thank heavens.

    XO
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  6. Replies
    1. No Ontarian, sad to say. In the film industry.

      My Americans have been delightful, bar none.

      XO
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  7. What a self-centred, entitled arsehole. She must drive everyone mad wherever she goes.

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    1. I'd say. Selfish too. She waved gluten free bread at me as she left, chortling she didn't have to use it.

      I thought I was beyond being gobsmacked by her but one final volley did me in.

      XO
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  8. I just discovered your blog. I love it! You are a creative, talented writer. I look forward to reading more.

    There is no excuse to be found for rude, self-centered people such as the woman you described. She was taking advantage of your kindness, civility, and assumption that most folks are reasonable. She was none of these!

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    1. Welcome Carole and thank you. Other than the loud porn-playing couple she took 1st prize for entitled privilege.
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  9. Yeah, I'd say stick to your rules ... you certainly don't want her (or anyone like her) as a repeat customer!

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    1. I know I melted a bit recently though they were kind enough to offer an out of getting up at the crack but I did get up and then went back to bed as they left so quickly after brekkie.

      XO
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  10. Such insensitive and thoughtless people abound. Unfortunately we become wise about them only after the event. At least the next time around, if there is one that is, you will say no to her.

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    1. You got it. We live and learn by our mistakes, Ramana.

      XO
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  11. A friend who owns a B & B has very firm rules which she enforces. She has been in the business 20+ years. She is not always popular but does not let that bother her. Most of her repeat visitors are from the other side of the island who come over here on business.

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    1. Good for her, I think it's always a shock, to me anyway, when you make one allowance the demand for more is set up.

      XO
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  12. Seems there are always those whose goal in life is to wheedle out of others more than was bargained to give. Glad you've firmed up your line.

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    1. They're the ones who hit 3rd world markets and gloat in downing the price even more. I hate them.

      XO
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  13. It's good to know that such an unpleasant person has proved to be a minority in your experience, WWW. My parents owned a small private hotel for a few years, long ago, and I do recall that they had just one really unpleasant and unfairly critical guest, while most truly appreciated their sincere efforts to please.

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    1. Yes, thank heavens, T, or I'd be a basket case. I was on edge with her, wondering what would be demanded next :)

      XO
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  14. Asked one of my totally healthy cadillac owning neighbours if I could get them anything at the supermarket since I happened to be going - "Oh, yes please - could you pick me up 3 large cans of Campbell's Clam Chowder".
    The next one asked if I would mind picking up a case of canned ginger ales!
    I don't ask anymore. Some people!

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